This weekend saw the ruby wedding anniversary of my parents. 40 years of being together that's almost the entire span of my lifetime, the world has gone through so many changes in that timespan. We're able to do so many things that they could only of dreamed of back then. Society has changed indescribably, but through all that my parents have stayed together. They've had three children....one of which is amazing, the other two are passable. They've urged each other on and got degrees, purchased their own home, they've renovated that home, paid it off and are now enjoying 'van life' with their recent camper van purchase and are planning to travel the country in it.
It's a proper partnership and growing up with them I can see how much they've changed over the years but at the same time the core of them as a couple is still there. Yes my dad might have an obsession with purchasing things off Amazon and my mum might have far, far to many books but they complete each other, the ying to each others yang. Looking back I can see how tough things were, a young couple with little money and three young children. We never got everything we asked for but we got everything that we needed and we were showered with unconditional love.
As I've grown up and tried to find my way in the world, they've always been there in the background, ready to help if needed and with what's gone on with me in the past year there help has been nothing but amazing. They were a role model for me to see what a true loving relationship is and what I thought I had.
When I got married I thought it was going to be forever, I often said to her she was stuck to me for life and she always retorted with there's always divorce. I guess she right after all. It hurt when we first broke up, hurt more than I can put into words. It still does but the truth is it's gotten a lot easier to deal with given time. I always thought that saying was a load of rubbish, but now looking back it's pretty darn accurate. She made her decision and I respect her for having the conviction to stand by it. Are there things I'm confused at maybe even angry about, yes. There are questions I would love to know the answers to, who knows maybe one day we'll sit down and get it all out in the open, but I'm not going to obsess over it anymore. Therapy has made me realise that life goes on without her, I'm becoming the person who I want to be, not the person I thought other people wanted me to be.
When I was down in London I was talking to James and I said I wish her nothing but the best, he corrected me half way through and said "No you nothing her, she is irrelevant to you now." I think he's hit the nail on the head with his comment. Why waste time obsessing over every small detail from the duration of our relationship, there is nothing to be gained from it, she's gone her way and I've gone mine.
RIght after that slight tangent about my own marriage there is only one thing to say, happy anniversary to the best mum and dad a guy could ask for!
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